WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD COACHES? read below and this might be the cause of a lot of them disappearing.
16u and 18u all communication is through the player, they are old enough to understand. Especially with recruiting.
This is not for everyone, this post is not for the kind hearted. This goes to me as well because I am a parent. I actually debated on putting this out, but someone has to say it. Everyone is complaining but saying nothing. So hold on tight..lol.. this one is going to make or break my tryouts. lol
Where do I start! I am still nervous about putting this out but here it is.
I have been coaching for many years and the parent situation to me has gotten worse. When I asked for people to give me suggestions on a blog post, this was this biggest one.
Ok so First I will give you from a coaching standpoint
I am a head coach, I spend a lot of my time (ask my wife) away from my family trying to find ways to get better. I have had a hitting lesson that lasted 2 hours (ask coach Tasaka), I did fielding lessons to understand the methods I teach. I watch the game live and on TV. I go over video of our games or other games. I attend high school games and random tournaments so I can just absorb info on the game. I have been to coaches clinics and camps. All that does not make me perfect but it will forever make me a student of the game,, I will never claim to be perfect. But for some reason the expectations are for us to be PERFECT.
ask yourself this parents, why do you come to the field when you daughter has a tournament? I am sure it is to watch your daughter play the game that she loves right? You want to see her happy and see her go out with her teammates and play the game she loves, correct? Simple right? easy enough. Got my chair and you find a good spot to sit and watch. Win or lose you get the chance to enjoy your baby girl play the game, after the tournament you tell your child “I love to watch you play” and then you drive home and talk about how much you love seeing her do what she loves. So ask yourself this question. Does that sound about right? I mean that’s how it should be but is that how tournament weekends go?
Ill be the first to say NO, it is not how I see it from a coaching stand point. I see that a lot of players have a couple coaches in the dugout and a couple coaches in the stands. I hear coaches saying one thing and other saying other things. Coaching giving instructions and stands giving instructions. Then you have the poaching coaches or whatever in everyone’s ear with the “why would he do that? I don’t understand that”, to make them sound like they are the “GURU”. Oh and god forbid the strike zone isn’t what the stands want it be. Let me ask you a question, do you know what a strike is? a strike is what the umpire calls a strike. DEAL WITH IT! or keep complaining and piss the umpire off and blame the umpire for the loss if you lose. Because we know heckling them from the bleachers is the right thing to do (sarcasm). Yea lets do that, lets set an example for our kids and start yelling at the authority on the field, by the way college coaches love that (more sarcasm). Parents/Fans let the players play!, come to watch and enjoy them play the game. You made a choice, a commitment to put your player on a team. That choice should be made for the right reasons. Do you want your player playing with friends? players who all have a high drive and want to play high level ball? or just play to have fun. There are different levels for a reason.
When players hear the negative comments (trust me they hear it) what do you think they think? Coaches hear it so what makes you think the players don’t? How do you think that affects the player? if you are going to go to a tournament to watch your player play then please just do that. Encourage them, cheer for them, build them up. All the practice and lessons are over its time to play so we expect the players to “RELAX” but we cant as adults? doesn’t make any sense to me.
Oh god and the RUMORS. seriously how old are we? You know how many rumors I have heard about myself ? they must be true though because someone said it. Once that rumor gets shared then its poison! “hey you know I heard” and “can you believe the coach said that and is going to do that?”. I will make things crystal clear with everyone about me. What you see is what you get! if you didn’t hear it from me and its about me then its not true. I have an email a phone number and everything else for people to get in contact with me, just ask me. Doesn’t hurt my feelings, please believe I will keep it real.
My thoughts from being on the head coaches side of things. Let the coaches coach. if you want to give instruction and coach so bad then coach a team. Volunteer your time and dedicate it to coaching, if you are not willing to do that then please let the coaches coach, the umpires call the game and just be there for your player and enjoy the moment.
Parents my advice is to make sure you players has a hitting instructor because hitting at practice is a TEAM practice not an individual lesson, coaches do not have time in 2 hours to focus 20/30 minutes on each player. TEAM PRACTICE is to make the team better
Parents make sure your player has a pitching instructor, not just someone who claims to know pitching. But a real deal pitching instructor. Check their resume! don’t take peoples word for it. Pitching is a 4-5 a week thing away from practice, dedicate time to be a catcher and help them improve. During practice make sure you get to pitcher catcher and let the players pitch and let the coaches coach.
Parents Understand these players need to be held accountable. We are trying to create great student athletes and overall great people. Let the coaches hold the player accountable without sending a unhappy email. The coaches rules are the coaches rules, we don’t have to like them but if a player is going to be on a certain team then they must abide by them.
Parents some more advice from a coach. If you don’t buy into what the coaches and team is doing then your player wont either. Trust the process it works. Its a marathon not a sprint
Parents I am guilty of all of the above! I am a parent in the high school stands, I questions EVERYTHING. But I learned to sit away from everyone and just shut my mouth. If I am not coaching that team then my job is to help my player get better so when she shows up for that team she can compete and be my baby’s biggest fan.
I am not always right, shit I’m probably 50/50 lol. But I am a coach who loves to coach and I have contemplated walking away from coaching because of all of the above. Ultimately the players mean the world to me and I’m not good at much but I am great at coaching so I will continue to lace up my coaching shoes
A lot of you will read this and have some choice words for me and that’s ok, but when have I not kept it real?
so take my rules or not but this is my future.
- When at practice/tournament please do not give the players instructions , the players need to be used to the coaches voice. if you are to attend a practice be a cheerleader not a coach
- Please only cheer and be positive to ALL players on the team when in the stands at a tournament
- Players are to stay inside the dugout and will have a team cooler for drinks.
- if one is to Negative talk about other players on the team and coach the individual will be asked to leave the stands, if the individual refuses it the player attached to that individual will be removed from the game
- Fans/Parents will be positive to the players, coaches and umpires throughout competition, if there is the opposite the individual will be asked to leave the stands, if they do not the player attached to them will be removed from the game.
- Pitchers parents cannot stand behind the backstop when their player is pitching
TREAT PARENTS, COACHES, PLAYERS, OPPONENTS, FANS & UMPIRES WITH RESPECT ON & OFF FIELD DO NOT INTERFERE WITH COACHING
- LET THE COACH, COACH
- DO NOT COACH DURING PRACTICES
- DO NOT COACH DURING GAMES
- DO CHEER ON THE TEAM INCLUDING YOUR DAUGHTER
- 24-48 HOUR RULE
- SEND EMAIL TO SCHEDULE A PRIVATE FACE TO FACE MEETING W/HEAD COACH
- IF NOT SATISFIED; CONTACT PLAYER REP AND SCHEDULE PRIVATE MEETING
- DO NOT APPROACH ANY COACH DURING OR AFTER A GAME OR PRACTICE FOR:
- PLAYING TIME
- FIELD POSITION
- BATTING LINE UP
- ANY OTHER SOFTBALL RELATED ISSUES (UNLESS IT IS A SAFETY ISSUE)
HELP YOUR DAUGHTER MANAGE HER TIME SO SHE CAN MAXIMIZE ATTENDANCE
- SCHOOL WORK
- FAMILY LIFE
- SOCIAL LIFE
- OTHER COMMITMENTS
PARENTS YOU HOLD THE KEY TO YOUR DAUGHTERS SUCCESS
As coach I put my players first! before everyone. I rarely let anything get to me but there are a lot of coaches out there that are ready to walk away. Trust me I know a lot of them.
Just 1 last thing go to google and search “coach steps down to do parents”
we are losing really good coaches here and its not because they cant coach.
there are so many other things that work and do not work. but I can tell you one thing, the moment a coach takes his mind off of the TEAM to focus on the other things, the coach now cuts themselves in half which cuts the team in half.
you do not have to agree with me, this is an opinion. But if this is you then as you tell your kids on the field all the time “Relax and just have fun”
See you at TRYOUTS (hopefully..lol)