One day there will be a time where we no longer have to drive her to practice, or take her to school. Stop by the store to grab extra Gatorade. So make sure the car rides are worth it, make sure you are building memories, make sure the ride home from practice or a tournament isn’t a scolding ride home. Enjoy the time with your babies, because before you know it, its time to graduate and move on to college.
I was going to wait another month or so before I wrote about my daughter but this past Wednesday we went to go see Wreck it Ralph Breaks the Internet. This movie is actually really good, but while I was watching this movie with my family I realized something and it was sad. Well it was sad for me, no one could really see the expression on my face as I watched the movie but if the lights were on you can see the sadness in my face.
I realized something, I am Wreck it Ralph and Vanessa is VeneLlope . They are best friends and Venellope calls ralph her hero and he does everything to live up to that name. Vanessa looks at me like I’m some hero and trust and believe since day one I have been trying to live up to that name, for the past 17 years every move that I have made has been for Vanessa.
I am so protective over Vanessa that I feel like I need to be there at all times just in case she needs her “hero”. Vanessa wants change so ill give her change, but I change it. I don’t let her change it because of course there is that protective mechanism inside me that has to make sure she is ok at all times. So when she goes off and does things on her own, my insecurities kick in. Every emotion and thought runs through my mind, so I text to make sure she is ok or make sure I’m in the area just in case. I am not trying to be annoying but like ralph says to venellope, ” I have never been away from you”. I need to trust that Vanessa will conquer the world.
Vanessa (venellope) turns to me (ralph) to lets me know everything’s going to be ok and to trust things and to just let her go do her thing for a moment. That’s the hardest thing for me, its not that fact that I think she’ll need me, but what if she doesn’t need me? what if she doesn’t look back. I have raised her to be self sufficient but I’m not ready for that.
There was a point in the movie where Venellope broke ralphs” hero” necklace because she was so upset, I think I have come to the realization that I need to let Vanessa be Vanessa and trust she will be ok. I wont push her to the point of having to be angry at me, but I am sad because my time of having my baby girl is almost over. yes she will always be my baby girl but she will be adulting soon and I do not know how prepared I am.
The end of the movie ralph is waving by to Venellope as she walks into her new racing game, and this had me visualizing me waving by to my baby girl as she goes to college. My eyes did swell up and I had to sip on my drink but it was a random emotional moment that I had to get off my chest, because its REAL.
I rarely show emotion or make myself vulnerable, but this is a message to all of you that watch your babies play ball or do anything at all. ENJOY IT! take pictures, make memories.
I have been waking up early almost every weekend to go to practice or a tournament for the last 7 years, I wont have that with Vanessa anymore. So parents/coaches if you’re still able to enjoy these moments then please do! nothing is more important that spending time with your babies no matter how old they get.
Vanessa is my hero! she is the reason I am who I am today and that’s a fact. She saved my life! I am excited to see the adult she is going to become and maybe be her assistant coach one day.
See you on the field,